• Megan Maley

Baby Brain

Photo by ALP STUDIO on Unsplash

Holy sheet. It's been a month since I posted last. I never meant for that to happen. Honest.

What have I been up to? Well, for starters, we've been preparing for a baby boy. As I write this post, I am 39 weeks + 1 day along (which means I should be un-pregnant by now, right?) and we have just been sort of preparing our lives for a new human to join us. We have been carefully curating a nursery, spending time with family and loved ones, getting our house ready (cleaned and of course decluttered) and focusing on tying up loose ends at work in preparation for taking time off. While this is not, and never will be, a "baby blog," it wouldn't be authentic if I didn't share this aspect of my life. I'm not (for the time being) going tell you what I did or didn't buy for the baby or how to do anything baby-related, for that matter. (I may eventually discuss this over on YouTube but for now my intention is to keep my focus clear). I have been just mentally and physically preparing for baby.

The physical preparation for baby (as you might imagine) looks a lot like just being mindful of how far I am pushing my body, trying to rest my body and mind (as much as I can) and at this point, doing labor-inducing activities like walking and yoga/stretching (and anything else your mind may wander to. tee hee).

The mental and emotional side of preparing for baby runs much deeper and it tends to bring attention (for me) to some habits that should have been part of my life for much longer than just pregnancy. I have been writing more. Pregnancy brain is a real thing and it helps me to dump my brain out onto lists and pages. I find I have a hard time moving mentally from one subject to the next until I can just dump my thoughts onto a list somewhere and then perhaps organize them later. While I clearly have not been writing blog posts, I have been writing a lot of emails to people in my life who matter (I mean, without facebook, what options do you really have?) and I have also been doing writing prompts from the 52 Lists Project by Moorea Seal which I have found to be a very thoughtful hobby. Writing is so cathartic for me and it helps me to create some permanence in my thoughts and feelings during this time when I feel like my person is so fluid. What mom-to-be doesn't worry about losing her sense of self and identity as she embarks on this new and unknown chapter? According to my friends, pregnancy/parenthood books, and even my counselor (yes I said counselor. It's 2018), fear of identity loss for new moms is a VERY REAL and VERY TANGIBLE concern. It affects NEARLY EVERY new mom. So putting my thoughts into a permanent place like a blog post or an email helps me to solidify my validity as an independent human who has always and will always be more than just a mom. I will be myself first and have thoughts and opinions and significance between just providing a womb and nourishment and care for my offspring. This is not to say that I won't PUT MY FAMILY FIRST. In fact, I think I place myself in second priority in terms of my own needs far too often, and I have a real fear of this being even more true with a newborn... but I do resolve to BE MYSELF FIRST. Even if I don't always manage to PUT MYSELF FIRST. Writing helps me to figure out who "MYSELF" is and what's important to me... and places a premium on my thoughts and feelings when they become more than just electricity in my brain and take up REAL space in the world on paper.

Finally, my last thought regarding preparation for motherhood (and this one is both physical and mental) is beginning a practice of meditation. Meditation has both physical and mental benefits (read up on it. It's true) and even if we don't get all "OHM" with beads and incense, setting aside even 5 minutes in the morning to be aware of your body and how it's feeling... to be aware of your brain and how it's doing... and setting an intention for yourself and your mind has tremendous benefits. When you feel like you could be nudged off the deep end any minute due to stress or whatever ails you, taking a few minutes to pause and focus on your breath and your body and your thoughts can be a therapeutic reprieve that draws you back to what's present and important.

Okay. That's what I've been up the last month or so.

For the record, I do not miss facebook one single bit... and in the meantime, Mark Zuckerberg testifies in front of Congress about facebook's privacy practices... and I'm just over here like folding baby clothes and stuff. #NotBothered. There is a whole world OUTSIDE of the internet... even though none of us remember it very well.

Alright! Be well, friends! I will be back in a few days with some more thoughts!

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